Nine Traffic Circles of Hell
* This was my favorite: *
Ninth Circle
You buy an SUV of Ark-like proportions, insisting you need room for all the world's species, off-road capability for the coming flood, and the towing capacity and mighty V8 to tear down the very walls of Jericho. Your wife buys another, because she does the shopping. Yet your household has begat a single toddler, plus a toy poodle. The biggest burden you've ever pulled is potting soil from Home Depot. And you wouldn't dare sully your golden chariots off-road, preferring to commute with them daily at a foul, guzzling 10 miles a gallon. And if your only passenger is an extra-large Starbucks? Congratulations: The devil's got nothing on you.
* I liked: *
Eighth Circle
You're a committed Greenie, a tireless apostle against global warming, evil corporations and any SUV. You flaunt your hippie-vegan lifestyle and fastidious demands for organic food. Your mode of transport? A decrepit, Woodstock-era VW bus that spews more pollution than a dealership full of Hummers. Drop one circle if the ashtray betrays one final hypocrisy: a pack-a-day Marlboro habit.
* and: *
Fifth Circle
You worship at the black altar of Harley-Davidson, but you're no biker. You're a normal, suburban guy hiding behind leather Village-People outfits and a wall of assaultive noise: the trashy two-cylinder soundtrack of every once-peaceful village and vacation spot. Meanwhile, you're the first to call the cops when teenagers roll down your street playing Ludacris. Fortunately for you, Hell is filled with Harleys.
Nine Traffic Circles of Hell - MSN Autos